Marble and Memories

Note: This entry takes place almost a month after it occured. I have a bad habit of writing and posting things much later than they actually happened. I need to work on that.

La Fayette, Georgia. It is a cool and comfortable spring day in the mountains. It is also a sobering day, and one of remembrance as I attend my grandmother;s memorial. She was a lovely woman, a devoted w2oman of God, and a lamplight unto my own feet. her warm spirit shall be missed by many, but we have no doubt as to where she went beyond her final breath.

It was on the drive up there that my dad shared the story of her final moments, related to him by the nurse who sat with her as she died. My grandmother apparently had begun a conversation with someone else who was visibly not in the room, at least not to the attending nurse. My Grandmother was clearly speaking with someone. Sometime shortly after ths conversation began, my grandmother developed an expression of pure joy and happiness, that carried with her through her final moments. When she died, she did so with the most peaceful of expressions upon her face.

I like to think that in her final moments, he saw what she had strove so many years for, and found herself in the arms of Jesus.

Sometime after the memorial, I visited a family burial plot that I had never known to exist until that day. It was a Warrenfells family burial plot in the town's cemetery, old and solemn, side by side with soldiers and captains of the civil war confederate army. Echoes of the civil war linger there still. Yet, as I look at the history and the headstones buried there, I realize that of all the names displayed, this is all that is left, a few words etched in marble and stone. A street or two named in thier honor. For most of us, there will be nothing left of us when we pass, minus memories and marble.

As I drive through the battlegrounds to the north, there is even less of the men who died there, the trees the only witness of thier testimony, nearly every tree standing having drank the blood of both confederate and union soldiers alike.

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
..James 4:14

No matter what we do, or what we say, or the things that can be given to us, nothing matters as much as what we do for ourselves and others spiritually, and for the sake of the world that is yet to come. Nothng remains of us but the spiritual legacy that we choose to leave behind. Yet, it is not the world that matters to us now, but the will of God.

Be Still

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Silence is the total manifestation of our true personality. In silence we find ourselves instead in communion with God. God knows our hearts and all our thoughts, making all our words in some respects a superfluous expression. When we speak, we are either speaking so that others may hear and share the word of God, or we are simply speaking, making noise, and adding to the cacophony of the world.

Silence is pure, and it is gentle. Silence is unassuming and does not judge. When we still our mind and body, we find our inner silence, and come face to face with God.

In the stillness, we seek to see the reflection of the image that God had given us. Yet, the more we fight against what is, dwell in the past, and dwell within the future, the more distorted that image becomes. It is likethe image reflected on still waters, disturbed by the ripples caused by the movement of our mind.

Stillness lends itself to silence, and silence lends itself to seeing. Our body should mimic the actions of our mind.

So, be still and know that God is God.

Irreducibly Infinite

     When we look up at the stars, we tend to fixate upon the stars and constellations. We can only see but a small fraction of the known universe by what light reaches us, yet we tend to only recognize that which we see, and that which is known.

     We seem incapable of looking upon that which is greater than ourselves, and comprehend or regard it in its entirety. It is like how when we read a book, we can only see the story as it is presented, one page at a time; likewise, when we see the evening sky, we see the sky for its stars. When we see the beach, we see the beach for its sand. When we look at the ocean, we see it for the water and its waves.

     So, what is it that we see when we look at God?

     God is the greatest conceivable thing to man, immeasurably more immense that any ocean, forest, sky, or distant galaxy. When we look at God we tend to pick him apart into smaller pieces we can more easily comprehend, and as such we end up seeing God as something less than God, less that perfect, less than infinite. We tend to look at God and see him for his constituent parts and qualities, rather than looking at God and seeing God as God, a limitless being extending beyond the reaches of the infinite.

Is it possible for us as finite and limited beings to fully comprehend the greatest conceivable being, which is in him ever greater than that which we could all conceive? I believe such understanding is within our grasp, to a point. Did not Abraham speak directly with God, and also was a friend of God? Moses spoke directly with God, but also saw God as well, if only the passing image of God’s backside. Then, we have Christ, who spoke as God, who was God, but was also a man. These three held an understanding of God that many of us could only hope to achieve one day. While Christ, the greatest of the three, had not just understanding, but also held the very presence of God within him.

Many images and words have been painted and printed before us to help us achieve a better understanding of the abstract immensity of God, and the immeasurably infinite contained within him. C.S. Lewis has offered us a beautifully simple word picture. Regard a line on a sheet of paper. Now, draw a short line on that piece of paper. The point where the pencil touches the sheet of paper is where time as we know it begins, and the point at which the pencil leaves the paper is where it ends. This small line is a representation encompassing all of time, from creation onwards. Now imagine that sheet of paper on which we drew the line to extend infinitely in all directions. How infinitesimally small are we when compared to this?

Now, imagine God’s perspective. No matter how big you make that sheet of paper, or how long you make the line we drew, he sees it all, all the time, at the same time.

Feel small yet?

Now, not only does god have this kind of bird’s eye perspective to all things, he is equally present in, round, and of all things as well. A.W. Tozer described this with a word picture of a bucket in the ocean, submerged beneath the water. Like the bucket and the water, all of creation contains God as much as God surrounds it. There is no place that one can go where God does not surround him. Yet, without the acceptance of God, and the personal relationship with him, God will not be found within him.

The thought almost makes you feel kind of lonely, doesn’t it?

Our relationship with God is both a precious, and powerful thing.

Regardless of how immeasurably huge God is, and how infinitesimally small we are when compared to his Glory, he still seeks to have a personal relationship with each and every one of us. Imagine walking the greatest desert of the earth, picking up every sing grain of sand, naming it, and forming a personal relationship with it, then we can have the barest glimpse into an understanding of God’s immense love and patience for us all. For, without God, we would all surely die. God is our father, and we are his children, and no father wants to see the death of his beloved children. Like his love, his patience truly knows no bounds, for he will wait for us to come to him for an eternity.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t have that long, but he does.

Most of us can hardly seem to keep still long enough to notice God sitting there, waiting for us. While we are constantly adapting, continually changing things to better fit our lives, God remains forever unchanging. We try to make things smaller or more user friendly. We try to make things more compact. We build newer, better things to be more efficient. So, likewise it is through a similar spirit of innovation that we find ourselves trying to reduce God into something less than God. We try to reduce God into something more manageable and compatible with our lives.

How do you reduce the irreducible anyways?

We must change this mind set, and stop trying to reduce God for our own sake. We must stop trying to evolve God into something more manageable for our own consumption.

God is perfect.

How can you make something even more perfect?

You can’t.

Instead of working and laboring to make God fit into our lives, we should follow the example we have been given, that is, the life of Jesus. We should work harder to try and make our lives fit into his.

In the face of selfishness

When by habit, you live your life in now-ness and awareness of the events and people around you, and when you try to keep the well being of those you encounter a step ahead of your own, it becomes hard to cope sometimes when you encounter a gross disregard for others, selfishness.  What do you do when a friend or someone you live with goes about their day, completely oblivious that the consequences of their actions cause someone else to become inconvenienced, or annoyed.  The guilty party may not even know they are guilty, but with that said, it shows us that they really aren't thinking about anyone but themselves.

It is often hard to deal with someone else's selfish nature, an inward view of life, particularly when it directly impacts your own life.

For whatever reason, the inconsideration of one person over the well being of one or many, upsets me, and probably disproportionately to the offense in question.  Yet, I must realize that we  are not perfect, and can not be fully aware of the things that we do, and how we may inadvertently affect someone else in a negative manner.  Patience must be approached on all avenues when dealing with difficulties involving friends and loved ones. 

"But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:4

Desires of our Heart

"But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed." James 1:14

By our own desires...

This one line of scripture says a lot to me spiritually.  It shows me that we all are lead away from our walk with the Lord, from what is right and proper, by the desires which we seed and water within our hearts.  Our own desires are what cause us to stumble, and to be drawn away from God.

What is your desire?  Do we desire God as we should?

We have to take the time to be still and examine our hearts, and to find out what it is that our heart really desires.  If we truly desire the will and word of God, and are really after God's heart, then we should be more inclined to bring that which is God's into our own heart.  If we are honest with ourselves, we will make God the desire of our heart, and therefore be less inclined to be  drawn away by the other desires that we may still have.

Our heart is our compass.  What we fill it with will determine what direction it guides us in.

Words of Encouragement

My Favorite Quote:

"To live well myself is my first and essential contribution to the well being of all mankind and to the fulfillment of man's collective destiny. If I do not live happily myself how can I help anyone else to be happy, or free, or wise. Yet to seek happiness is not to live happily. Perhaps it is more true to say that one finds happiness by not seeking it. The wisdom that teaches us deliberately to restrain our desire for happiness enables us to discover that we are already happy without realizing the fact". ~ Thomas Merton

My Favorite Prayer

I asked for Strength, that I might achieve.

I was made weak, that I might learn to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.

I was given my infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy.

I was given poverty, that I might be wise. 

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life. 

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I had asked for.

Despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. 

I am, among all men, richly blessed.

My New Blog

There are many places on the internet where one can express thier thoughts, and point of views.  The blogosphere, as it is called, as vast and varied.  I am sure, and certain my contributions to the whole will be a mere drop in the bucket by comparison.  Yet, I must hope that somewhere along the way someone may see my words and be uplifted, or inspired, in thier walk with God.

So, why call my little slice of the blogosphere Godboxing?

Well, it is a play on words really. If you take it one way, I am alluding to the image of a two man bout, one of us vs. God. Many of us tend to fight with God's word, directly, or through our own inaction. I will admit, that even I am guilty of this. I do not always do the things I should do, but I hope that by recognizing this, I may some day correct this problem in my life. The second image I am trying to create, is the image of man putting God into a little box, or, "Boxing God." We try to place god into our own boundaries and ideas, an in essence make God something smaller than he really is. We stick him inside our ideas and reality, break him down into smaller and defined pieces so that we may be able to understand, or attempt to fully comprehend God.

I don't know about you, but any God that I can fully understand and comprehend, is not a God I want to follow.

So, this Blog is my attempt to try and observe myself, and others, and to understand God a little better. After all, we were all created in his image. Also, along the way, I will poke at different ideas that exist about God, and/or just interject my opinion or observation every now and then.